"First with Kids" | Vermont Children's Hospital


	"First with Kids"
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Lewis First, MD offers parents and children tips for staying healthy and safe in his weekly First with Kids segments. Always delivered with enthusiasm and humor, First with Kids can be found on WOKO radio 98.9 FM, WCAX-TV Channel 3 and in the Chittenden County Newspaper Group papers.

Dr. First is Chief of Pediatrics at the Vermont Children's Hospital at Fletcher Allen Health Care and the Department of Pediatrics, University of Vermont College of Medicine.

This week Dr. First offers tips on:

Talking About Sex

November 17, 2008

Parents have recently been asking me for the bare facts about when and how to talk to their children about sex. Given their concerns, I thought I would attempt to demystify this topic and provide you with some tips about how to do this.

First, children do not learn about sex in a single conversation about the birds and the bees, but over years as they grow and develop. Toddlers will always be interested in their bodies, and parents should begin to identify the genitals using the proper terms in a matter-of-fact way so that their child learns to use these terms without embarrassment.

Toddlers and preschoolers should also be taught about good and bad touch and that their body is their own. If your child is caught “playing doctor”, be reassured that this does not mean your child will be promiscuous or overly interested in sex.

Rather than scold your child for playing doctor, your presence will interrupt the play and then at night when you have their attention and they have yours, you can talk about their interest in seeing someone else’s body but also the fact that it is expected that bodies stay covered in public and that each person has the right to privacy.

If a preschooler wants to know where they came from, you can tell them the story of the egg that grew in a mother’s stomach, but be sure your child is ready to hear this. Early school-age children will need to be informed about reproduction and a book may be useful if words are difficult. Your pediatrician can help here with recommendations of what to say or read.

Parents should always begin the sex education process before it begins in school, which is usually in the fifth or sixth grade. While schools will teach mechanics and science, parents need to teach values and should do this first.

By age 8 or 9, girls should know about menstruation. Books can be helpful – as can open and honest mother/daughter conversations in which moms can help describe what actually happens and what it feels like.

Hopefully, tips like these will be helpful when it comes to relieving your fears about what to do in talking to your child about sex.

Lewis First, MD is chief of pediatrics at the Vermont Children's Hospital at Fletcher Allen Health Care and the Department of Pediatrics, University of Vermont College of Medicine. You can also catch "First with Kids" weekly on WOKO, 98.9 FM and now on WCAX-TV, Channel 3. Visit www.vermontchildrens.org to access all of this year's First with Kids segments.